Better chit chat at din dins

Parents don’t need to shy away from expressing opinions; children are often curious about what parents think. But don’t lecture! It will only make a child tune out. It’s just a conversation, where you can practice listening and enjoying the family around you. The most important take-away for a family will be feeling heard, seen and valued.

Three simple things to engage with family members are:

1. Ask good questions.
2. Commit to listening and not lecturing.
3. Enjoy the discussion and stay curious!

There are many ‘Conversation Starter’ questions on the Majellan Media website to assist families. The questions can be adapted for people of all ages. The topics and some examples are listed here:

Getting to know each other better.

• What are the three most interesting things about you?
• Name five reasons you’re glad to be alive.
• If you could have any superpower, what would it be and why?
• What’s your favourite song? Why?

Building Relationships

• What is your favourite thing about our relationship?
• What is your least favourite thing about our relationship?
• Do you feel like you could talk with me about anything at all?
• What would you be most likely to want to lie to me about? Why?

Views on Family

• What three words do you think best describe our family?
• What is your favourite family tradition?
• How do you think your friends’ families compare to ours? Are they about as close? Closer? More distant? Why do you think that?
• What do you think makes a family close?

Adoptive Families

• Do blended families take more work? Can they be as happy as birth families?
• Do you ever miss your dad?
• Do you think things would be different if your dad was still with us and I had never met your stepdad? How?
• Even though your stepdad is not your biological dad, you know he adores you. Do you feel close to him?

Values & Character

• What traits do you most admire in other people?
• Did you have a chance to be kind to anyone today?
• Is it hard to make the choice to be kind sometimes?
• Was anyone kind to you today?

School & Learning

• How did you grow your mind today?
• Do you think you can learn anything, with enough practice?
• Did anything make you think hard today?
• Did anything you learned today surprise you?
• What do you like best about school?
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Emotions

• Do you know what EQ (emotional intelligence quotient) is? If someone has a high EQ, what are they like?
• What do you think the purpose is of the various emotions? 
• When you feel a strong emotion, what is the best way to respond to it?
• What is the best way to handle it when you feel super angry?
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Friendship & Peers

• Who is your best friend and why?
• What traits do you look for in friends?
• Do you have friends who are different races or religions than you? Does that have any effect on the friendship? 
• Do you think you’re good at making friends?

Bullying

• Who gets teased at school or in your activities, and why?
• Does the teasing ever go overboard?
• How can we define what is okay and what’s overboard?
• Does the kid getting teased think the teasing is bullying, or not?

Drug and Alcohol Use

• Why do you think it’s illegal for kids under the age of 18 to drink alcohol? After all, many parents do it.
• Why are marijuana and other drugs illegal?
• What would you do if you were in a car and the driver had been drinking or smoking marijuana?
• What if the driver was a grown-up, like your friend’s parent?

Consent, Sex, Love, Marriage and Sexual Preference

• At what age do you think people can fall in love? 
• At what age should people marry?
• How should you decide who to marry?
• Do you think people should be married to have sex? If not, how should they decide whether they’re ready?

Body Image and Gender Roles

• What matters most, attractiveness or being strong, smart, brave, responsible, caring, etc? 
• How do you think the bodies of models and actors on TV compare to ordinary peoples’ bodies? How does it make you feel to watch them?
• Is attractiveness innate or is it something we can make ourselves into?
• What are the most important qualities you would want in a boyfriend or girlfriend? 

Spirituality/Faith

• Do you believe in God? Why or why not? If so, how do you picture God?
• Do you ever talk to God?
• Is spirituality the same as religion or different?
• Has religion played a positive or negative role in history?

For more conversation starters go to: https://majellan.media/conversation-starters/

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