Figuring out your love map

With divorce rates increasing in the Western world, the question still remains why some relationships work and others fail? There’s no doubt stress over work, money and children can add to the higher separation rates.


But why some couples grow closer over time while others grow apart is an age-old question. Psychologist and relationship expert Dr John Gottman may have the answer. With more than 50 years’ research with thousands of couples, he is well-known for his work on marital stability and divorce prediction.


Married to his wife Julie for more than three decades, he had been twice divorced before his third marriage. Dr Gottman believes the couples most likely to enjoy marital closeness and satisfaction are those who build richly detailed love maps.


In essence, the more you know about your partner, the richer your love map. Here are examples of what is inside a love map:

  • Major events in your partner’s life
  • Goals and dreams
  • Worries and fears
  • Favourite food, cities, holidays.


For more than 73 years Majellan has been helping families be the best that they can be.


Having a strong, loving relationship usually means you have a good understanding of what is important to your family members. Understanding love maps gives us a valuable means of getting to know and appreciate our partners and children better to help avoid conflict, and most importantly build strong, loving bonds.


In one Majellan Focus Session podcast, we explore love maps and how they can help to gain a deeper knowledge of the people we care most about and therefore build robust relationships. Love Maps relate not only to a partner but to other family members as well.


Marriage counsellor Derek Boylen, who works for the Archdiocese of Perth discusses what love maps are, how to grasp them and how to apply the knowledge to make relationships the best they can be.


The Figuring out Families Focus Session podcast with marriage counsellor Derek Boylen is titled Love Maps. The podcast can be found at:


We will feature a different podcast topic in our newsletter each week.


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