Majellan Jokes

A couple is on a date at a fancy restaurant. The woman tells the man to say something to her that will get her heart racing. He says, “I forgot my wallet.”

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What’s the difference between love and marriage? Love is blind. Marriage is an eye-opener.

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I was in the shop looking for a jacket to buy a present for my girlfriend. I couldn’t decide which one to get, so I asked the salesman, “If you were buying a jacket for your girlfriend, which one would you get?

He said, “A bulletproof one. I’m married.”

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I said, “I love you so much. I could never live without you.”

My wife giggled and asked, “Is that you talking or the beer?”

I said, “It’s me talking to the beer.”

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Funny equality law: The time taken by a wife when she says I will be ready in 5 minutes to go outside is exactly equal to the time taken by a husband when he says, “I will be home in 5 minutes.

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A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mum was talking about her side of the family.”

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A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband’s two. She reaches for a cricket bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she’s done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.

He says, “Hi darling, your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?”

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My wife and I have such a wonderful marriage. I always know what she is thinking, because she always tell me. She always knows what I’m thinking because she tells me that too.

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And because Easter is not far away!

Why didn’t the police enter the Easter Bunny’s home?
They didn’t have a warren-t

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How does the Easter Bunny stay fit?
Hareobics

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Who’s the Easter Bunny’s favourite celebrity?
Rabbit De Niro

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What do you call a line of rabbits jumping backwards?
A receding hareline.

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Did you hear about the lady whose house was infested with Easter eggs?
She had to call an eggs-terminator!

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Why did the Easter egg hide?
He was a little chicken!

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What do you get if you pour hot water down a rabbit hole?
Hot cross bunnies!

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What happened when the Easter Bunny married the rabbit of his dreams?
They lived hoppily ever after!

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