Jokes

A businessman finds himself in serious financial trouble. His business has gone under, so he decides to ask God for help. He begins to pray like never before.

 

“God, please help me. I’ve lost my business and if I don’t get some money soon, I’m going to lose my house too. Please let me win this Saturday’s Lotto. It’s worth twenty million dollars.”

 

Saturday night arrives and no one wins the major prize, so the man prays even harder. “God, please let me win the Lotto. I’ve lost my business and my house and now I’m about to lose my car.”

 

The following Saturday night comes and goes and still the man is luckless. This time he gets on his knees and prays. “My God, why have you forsaken me? I’ve lost my business, my house and now my car. My children are starving. I don’t ask You for help, and I have always been a good servant of yours. I go to Mass and help my neighbours. Please let me win next Saturday’s Lotto just this one time so I can get my life back in order. This I beg of You.”

 

Suddenly, there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open up. The man is overwhelmed by the voice of God himself.

 

“Hey, mister, work with Me on this. For My sake and yours, you can start by buying a ticket.”

 

And because it’s Father’s Day on Sunday, we have to include some Dad jokes …

 

Do you know the name of the only green musician? Elvis Parsley…

🤣😂

Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged…

🤣😂

What’s blue & smells like Red Paint? Blue paint …

🤣😂

When you’re driving past a cemetery and dad pipes up with: “I bet everyone is dying to get in there!”

🤣😂

Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut…

🤣😂

How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!…

🤣😂

Dad: What do you want for dinner?

Kid: I feel like a pizza.

Dad: Well, you don’t look like one!…

🤣😂

I asked my dad for his best joke and he said “You”…

 

Have a joke to share?  Send it to editor@majellan.org.au 

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