Jokes

 

A wife says to her husband, “I bought you a beautiful surprise today.”

 

The husband replies, “That’s great. When can I see it?”

 

She says, “Wait a minute, and I’ll put it on.”

🤣😂

 

A young man approaches a woman at a bar and introduces himself. “Hello, I’m John. May I have your number?”

 

The woman looks perplexed but admires his courage.

 

John continues, “It’s purely for business purposes. You see I’m writing a phone book.”

🤣😂

 

A mother was cooking pancakes for her two sons, Andrew and Luke. The boys started to argue over who would get the first one. The mother said: “If Jesus was here, he would say, ‘Let my brother have the first pancake.”

 

Andrew then turned to Luke and said, “Okay, Luke. You can be Jesus!”

🤣😂

 

Motherhood is a fairytale in reverse. You start in a beautiful gown end up cleaning everyone’s messes.

🤣😂

 

Being a mum to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.

🤣😂

 

It’s sad when you sit around waiting for mum to make dinner and then you realise you are the mum.

🤣😂

 

“Mum, what’s it like to have the greatest daughter in the world?” “I don’t know, ask your grandma!”

🤣😂

 

“Why was the house so neat on Mother’s Day? Because Mum spent all day Saturday cleaning it.”

🤣😂

And this joke Courtesy Kathyrn Woodruff

Father Murphy was recapping the 10 Commandments during his homily, and he noted a member of the congregation was listening avidly. Unaccustomed to this attention, he kept an eye on him.  At one stage the man looked extremely worried, but a little while later his expression became relaxed, and he looked at peace. 

 

Father Murphy was intrigued, so after Mass he approached the man and asked what was going through his mind during the homily. 

 

The man said, “When you mentioned “Thou shalt not steal.” I realised my umbrella was missing and I thought someone must have stolen it, but when you got to “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” I remembered where I left it.

 

Have a joke to share?  Send it to editor@majellan.org.au 

Past Collections

Jokes 22/05

This weekend Pope Francis is hosting children from around the world for the first ever World Children’s Day. To celebrate the occasion, here are some kids’ jokes. A warning: some are rather corny!

Read More »

Jokes 8/05

A wife says to her husband, “I bought you a beautiful surprise today.”

The husband replies, “That’s great. When can I see it?”

She says, “Wait a minute, and I’ll put it on.”

Read More »