A: I have the perfect son.

B: Does he smoke?

A: No, he doesn’t.

B: Does he drink whiskey?

A: No, he doesn’t.

B: Does he ever come home late?

A: No, he doesn’t.

B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?

A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

A young boy came home from school and told his mother, “I had a big fight with my classmate. He called me a sissy.”

The mother asked, “What did you do?”

The boy replied, “I hit him with my purse!”

Teacher: “Answer this math problem: if your father earns $500 a week and gives half to your mother. What will he have?”

Student: “A heart attack.”

Six-year-old Susie complained, “Mum, I’ve got a stomach ache.”

“That’s because your stomach is empty,” the mother replied. “You would feel better if you had something in it.”

That afternoon, her father came home complaining that he’d had a severe headache all day.

Susie perked up, “That’s because it’s empty,” she said. “You’d feel better if you had something in it.”

One day Peter got home early from school and his mum asked, “Why are you home so early?”

He answered, “Because I was the only one that answered a question in my class.”

She said, “Wow, my son is a genius. What was the question?”

Peter replied, “The question was ‘Who threw the rubbish bin at the principal?'”

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