Because we love our families …

“Dad, why do we always have to eat together?”
“Because we’re a family, son.”
“But why in silence?”
“Because your mother asked me how her cooking compares with Grandma’s, and silly me answered.”

“Mum, what’s it like having the world’s best daughter?”
“I don’t know, love. You’ll have to ask your grandmother.”

My son asked, “Dad, am I adopted?”“Of course not,” I said. “Do you honestly think we’d have chosen someone who leaves wet towels on the floor?”

Grandad finally bought hearing aids but didn’t tell the family.
A month later, the audiologist asked, “Your family must be pleased you can hear properly.”
“Haven’t told them,” said Grandad. “I just sit and listen. I’ve changed my will three times.”

I asked Mum how she always knew when I was lying.

“Your lips moved,” she said.

My kids asked whether I planned to leave them anything in my will.

“Absolutely,” I said. “A very clear explanation of where the money went.”

Before I had children, I had six theories about raising them.

Now I have six children and no theories.

“Mum says you spoil us,” the little boy told his grandmother.

“What nonsense,” she said. “Have another biscuit and tell me what else she’s been saying.”

“Let’s go somewhere we’ve never been before,” I told the kids.

My wife said, “How about you all try the laundry?”

Have a joke to share?  Send it to editor@majellan.org.au