Following Mass one Sunday morning, a thoughtless parishioner tossed a cigarette butt into the garden. Spotting the smouldering bush, the parish priest pulled out his mobile phone and called the fire department.


The person on the other end queried the priest. “Father, you’re telling me there’s a burning bush in front of your church and you want us to put it out?”


Why did the hipster burn his mouth?

He drank the coffee before it was cool.


Why did the frog take the bus to work today?

His car got toad away.


What do you call a pony with a cough?

A little horse.


Why do French people eat snails?

They don’t like fast food.


Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? 

Just in case he got a hole in one!


What do sea monsters eat?

Fish and ships.


I excel at sleeping. In fact, I can do it with my eyes closed.


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Past Collections

Jokes 22/05

This weekend Pope Francis is hosting children from around the world for the first ever World Children’s Day. To celebrate the occasion, here are some kids’ jokes. A warning: some are rather corny!

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Jokes 8/05

A wife says to her husband, “I bought you a beautiful surprise today.”

The husband replies, “That’s great. When can I see it?”

She says, “Wait a minute, and I’ll put it on.”

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