Where’s Saint Francis when you need him?

St Francis loved every creature on earth.

Clearly, he’d never had a possum in his roof at three in the morning.

St Peter asked a couple how they’d managed fifty years of marriage.

“Patience, forgiveness and separate bathrooms.”

“Ah,” said Peter. “Two virtues and a miracle.”

I asked St Anthony to help me find my car keys.

He said, “Have you checked your pockets?”

“Yes.”

“Check again. We’ve been through this before.”

St Peter asked a new arrival at the pearly gates, “Have you ever done anything brave?”

“I told my wife she was loading the dishwasher wrong.”

“When was that?”

“About thirty seconds ago.”

I asked St Jude, patron saint of hopeless causes, to help my footy team.

He looked at the ladder and said, “I admire your faith, but I do have other clients.”

A man prayed, “St Anthony, please help me find my wallet.”

A voice replied, “It’s in your wife’s handbag.”

“Thank you! Can you help me get it back?”

“You’ll need St Jude for that.”

Have a joke to share?  Send it to editor@majellan.org.au