Because today is International Wellness Day …

Why is it so hard to trust atoms? Because they make everything up!

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. Now she looks surprised.

What’s red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.

What do you call a fake noodle going to a spa?

An impasta trying to find inner peas.

Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?

Because they taste funny.

Singing in the shower is fun until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

You know you’ve reached peak wellness when you can eat kale and actually enjoy it.

My doctor told me to take up yoga for my wellness. Now I’m just more flexible and still stressed.

I’m on a new wellness journey. It’s called going to all the wineries within 100 kilometres of my house.

Wellness is a marathon, not a sprint. So I’m gonna need more snacks and a nap before I continue.

Why did the therapist bring a ladder to each session?

 To help his clients reach new heights of self-awareness!

What’s a chiropractor’s favourite type of music?

Anything with a good spine-tingling rhythm!