After a long and successful career as a small business owner, a man decides he wants to devote the rest of his life to God, so he joins a seminary and studies to be a priest. A few years later after his ordination he is assigned to a parish.

One Saturday afternoon he was about to hear confessions when he met an old friend from his former life.

“How do you like the new job?” the friend asked.

“Well,” said the new priest, “The pay is not as good and the hours are long.” Then pointing to the confessional, he added, “But what I do like is that in this business the customer is always wrong!”

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The taxation office was auditing the pizza show owner, a very devout Catholic. The investigator wanted to know how the man could justify adding deductions for trips to Rome, Fatima, Lourdes and the Holy Land in a single year.

With a shrug, he said, “We deliver.”

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The piano tuner came into the church one afternoon and spoke to the music director. “I’m here to tune your piano,” he said matter-of-factly.

“But … but,” stammered the musician, “I didn’t call you.”

“That’s true,” said the tuner. “But several of your parishioners did.”

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Remember the Scripture about Lot’s wife, who looked back and turned into a pillar of salt?

She had nothing on the priest who looked back while driving and drove into a telegraph pole.

Jokes courtesy Deacon Tom Sheridan and The Last Book of Catholic Jokes

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