Nigel is driving home one evening, when he suddenly realises that it’s his daughter’s birthday and he hasn’t bought her a present. He drives to the local shopping centre, runs to the toy store, and says to the shop assistant, “How much is that Barbie in the window?”

In a condescending manner, she replies, “Which Barbie? We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.”

Perplexed, Nigel asks, “Why is Divorced Barbie $265 when all the others are only $19.95?”

“That’s obvious,” the shop assistant says. “Divorced Barbie comes with Ken’s house, Ken’s car, Ken’s boat, Ken’s furniture …”

🤣😂

A husband and wife came for counselling after 15 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had. She went on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to continue for some time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk, asked the wife to stand, and embraced and kissed her passionately.

The woman quietly sat down as though in a daze. The therapist turned to the husband and said, “This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?”

The husband thought for a moment and replied, “Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays I go fishing.”

Courtesy Bernadette Bates.

🤣😂

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