Florence was a conceited woman who was aware of her faults. One day after Mass she was talking to her parish priest and said, “Father, this morning I spent almost an hour looking into the bedroom mirror admiring my beauty. Is that cause for concern? Should I go to confession?”


“Actually, no,” the priest replied after thinking for a moment. “You only have to confess sins, not errors in judgement.”



During a priest’s homily at Mass one Sunday morning, one of the parishioners got up and walked out the door.


After Mass, the man’s wife went up to the priest and apologised profusely. “I hope it didn’t upset you too much,” she said. “And please don’t take it personally. My husband’s been walking in his sleep for years.”



A Catholic primary school teacher asked her Grade 2 students why it was necessary to be quiet in church on Sundays?


One little girl piped up, “Because people are sleeping.”



These days, carrying health insurance is like wearing a hospital gown – you only think you’re covered.



A suggestion for stressed parents of young children. It may be good to follow both instructions on the headache tablet packet: “Take two tablets” and “Keep away from children”.



Atheists have their own dial-a-prayer service now.


It rings and rings and nobody answers.


Jokes courtesy Deacon Tom Sheridan and The Last Book of Catholic Jokes



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Past Collections

Jokes 22/05

This weekend Pope Francis is hosting children from around the world for the first ever World Children’s Day. To celebrate the occasion, here are some kids’ jokes. A warning: some are rather corny!

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Jokes 8/05

A wife says to her husband, “I bought you a beautiful surprise today.”

The husband replies, “That’s great. When can I see it?”

She says, “Wait a minute, and I’ll put it on.”

Read More »