Jokes

The other day I told my nine year-old and my twelve-year-old, “Being a dad is like being a magician.”

They looked at me, confused.

I said, “Think about it: I can make food disappear and I can make money vanish instantly.”

The oldest asked, “Okay, but what about magic tricks?”

I said, “Oh, I can do those too. I can make your eyes roll just by telling a joke.”

They groaned, loudly.

Then I leaned in and said, “But my greatest trick of all is making you disappear by saying the dishes need cleaning.”

And just like that — they vanished into their bedrooms.

A daughter asked her father, “Dad, what are you best at? What’s your superpower?”

“Well, dads actually have lots of superpowers. I can hear a light switch flicking at 3 am from the other side of the house. I can detect when the thermostat has been moved a single degree. I can fall asleep in a chair during a movie, but I wake up the moment someone changes the channel.”

The daughter giggled.

The father continued, “I have the ability to carry 27 grocery bags in one trip, barbecue in any weather, and somehow know when you’ve touched the car radio without asking. But my greatest strength … is embarrassing you in public without even trying.”

Have a joke to share?  Send it to editor@majellan.org.au  

 

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