Jokes 3/03
Jokes An Irishman moved into a tiny village in County Kerry, walked into the pub and promptly ordered three beers. The bartender raised his eyebrows,
Jokes
Believe it or not, the following are some of the answers provided by nurses in their examination tests. To be fair, these go back some 30 or 40 years.
Artificial respiration is known as the kiss of death.
🤣😂
A bleeding nose may require circumcision.
🤣😂
The patient will need to be publicly shaved before theatre.
🤣😂
If the patient is worried about his wife and family, the social worker will be able to dispose of them for him.
🤣😂
Wash the patient’s groin and genial area.
🤣😂
Some drugs have a more lusting effect than others.
🤣😂
The best room for eye trouble is one that is well alight.
🤣😂
When a nurse has passed her final exam she is certified.
🤣😂
Footnote: The examiners said most of the ‘perpetrators’ passed their exams.
🤣😂
And keeping with the theme around health …
A man walked into a chemist and noticed a customer leaning against a wall. He asked the chemist what the man was doing.
The chemist replied, “Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his persistent cough. I had run out of syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxatives.”
The customer was perplexed and said, “You can’t treat a cough with laxatives!”
“Want a bet? Look at him now. He’s afraid to cough.”
Have a joke to share? Send it to editor@majellan.org.au
New Ebook 75 YEARS OF LAUGHS FROM THE MAJELLAN MAGAZINE
Available now!
The Majellan, Uncategorized
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Have you heard the one about EBook?
$12.00
“Have You Heard the One About” is a collection of humorous and engaging anecdotes designed to entertain and uplift readers. Key features include a diverse range of jokes and stories that cater to various tastes and age groups, ensuring broad appeal. The book offers benefits such as stress relief through laughter, an easy-to-read format that makes it accessible for quick enjoyment.
Introducing “Have You Heard the One About…”—a delightful collection of jokes from The Majellan Magazine.
Note: this is a digital product – an email will be sent with download link after checkout.
Note for organisations payment must be received prior to download – pay by credit card at checkout.
Description
Introducing “Have You Heard the One About…”—a delightful collection of jokes from The Majellan Magazine, celebrating 75 years of laughter!
For decades, the jokes section has been one of the most loved parts of the magazine, bringing smiles to families all over. Now, we’ve gathered the very best jokes from over the years into one digital book, reflecting the changing humour and culture across generations. Whether you’re after a good laugh, a dose of nostalgia, or a fun way to connect with family, this collection is a must-have. Dive in and enjoy the humour that has made Majellan a beloved part of so many lives!
Why Women Need a Husband?
A woman goes to a psychiatrist and complains: “I don’t want to marry. I am educated, independent, and self-sufficient. I don’t need a husband. But my parents are asking me to marry. What do I do?”
The psychiatrist replied: “You undoubtedly will achieve great things in life. But somethings inevitably will not go the way you want. Somethings will go wrong. Sometimes you will fail. Sometimes your plans won’t work. Sometimes your wishes will not be fulfilled … Then who will you blame? Will you blame Yourself?”
Woman: “NO!!!”
Psychiatrist: “That’s why you need a husband.”
And because it’s back to school time …
What did the math book say to the calculator on their first day of school?
“You can count on me to solve your problems!”
Did you hear about the leprechaun who got to skip preschool and go straight to kindergarten after his first day back at school.
Turns out he already knew his elf-a-bet!
Why did the ruler feel lonely on the first day of school?
It had no one to measure up to!
Why are plants always prepared for math class on their first day of school?
Because they have their square roots down!
Why did the backpack feel relieved on the first day of school?
It finally had a shoulder to lean on!
What did the geometry teacher say to the circle and the square on the first day of school?
“Let’s get this class in shape!”
Why did the computer teacher feel energised on the first day of school?
She was ready to byte out of a new year of teaching technology!
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Past Collections
Jokes 26/02
Jokes A teddy bear was working on a building site. He went for a tea break and when he returned 15 minutes later, he noticed
Jokes 19/02
Jokes A man goes into a chemist and asks the pharmacist if he can have something for hiccups. The pharmacist promptly reaches out and slaps