Jokes 3/03
Jokes An Irishman moved into a tiny village in County Kerry, walked into the pub and promptly ordered three beers. The bartender raised his eyebrows,
Jokes
Nigel is driving home one evening, when he suddenly realises that it’s his daughter’s birthday and he hasn’t bought her a present. He drives to the local shopping centre, runs to the toy store, and says to the shop assistant, “How much is that Barbie in the window?”
In a condescending manner, she replies, “Which Barbie? We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.”
Perplexed, Nigel asks, “Why is Divorced Barbie $265 when all the others are only $19.95?”
“That’s obvious,” the shop assistant says. “Divorced Barbie comes with Ken’s house, Ken’s car, Ken’s boat, Ken’s furniture …”
🤣😂
A husband and wife came for counselling after 15 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had. She went on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.
Finally, after allowing this to continue for some time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk, asked the wife to stand, and embraced and kissed her passionately.
The woman quietly sat down as though in a daze. The therapist turned to the husband and said, “This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?”
The husband thought for a moment and replied, “Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays I go fishing.”
Courtesy Bernadette Bates.
🤣😂
Have a joke to share? Send it to editor@majellan.org.au
New Ebook 75 YEARS OF LAUGHS FROM THE MAJELLAN MAGAZINE
Available now!
The Majellan, Uncategorized
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Have you heard the one about EBook?
$12.00
“Have You Heard the One About” is a collection of humorous and engaging anecdotes designed to entertain and uplift readers. Key features include a diverse range of jokes and stories that cater to various tastes and age groups, ensuring broad appeal. The book offers benefits such as stress relief through laughter, an easy-to-read format that makes it accessible for quick enjoyment.
Introducing “Have You Heard the One About…”—a delightful collection of jokes from The Majellan Magazine.
Note: this is a digital product – an email will be sent with download link after checkout.
Note for organisations payment must be received prior to download – pay by credit card at checkout.
Description
Introducing “Have You Heard the One About…”—a delightful collection of jokes from The Majellan Magazine, celebrating 75 years of laughter!
For decades, the jokes section has been one of the most loved parts of the magazine, bringing smiles to families all over. Now, we’ve gathered the very best jokes from over the years into one digital book, reflecting the changing humour and culture across generations. Whether you’re after a good laugh, a dose of nostalgia, or a fun way to connect with family, this collection is a must-have. Dive in and enjoy the humour that has made Majellan a beloved part of so many lives!
Why Women Need a Husband?
A woman goes to a psychiatrist and complains: “I don’t want to marry. I am educated, independent, and self-sufficient. I don’t need a husband. But my parents are asking me to marry. What do I do?”
The psychiatrist replied: “You undoubtedly will achieve great things in life. But somethings inevitably will not go the way you want. Somethings will go wrong. Sometimes you will fail. Sometimes your plans won’t work. Sometimes your wishes will not be fulfilled … Then who will you blame? Will you blame Yourself?”
Woman: “NO!!!”
Psychiatrist: “That’s why you need a husband.”
And because it’s back to school time …
What did the math book say to the calculator on their first day of school?
“You can count on me to solve your problems!”
Did you hear about the leprechaun who got to skip preschool and go straight to kindergarten after his first day back at school.
Turns out he already knew his elf-a-bet!
Why did the ruler feel lonely on the first day of school?
It had no one to measure up to!
Why are plants always prepared for math class on their first day of school?
Because they have their square roots down!
Why did the backpack feel relieved on the first day of school?
It finally had a shoulder to lean on!
What did the geometry teacher say to the circle and the square on the first day of school?
“Let’s get this class in shape!”
Why did the computer teacher feel energised on the first day of school?
She was ready to byte out of a new year of teaching technology!
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Past Collections
Jokes 26/02
Jokes A teddy bear was working on a building site. He went for a tea break and when he returned 15 minutes later, he noticed
Jokes 19/02
Jokes A man goes into a chemist and asks the pharmacist if he can have something for hiccups. The pharmacist promptly reaches out and slaps