Dave has been a good and reliable worker for the same company for twenty-five years. One problem:  he keeps missing company events. Eventually, his boss calls him to his office demanding an explanation. Why can’t Dave be a team player?

“I’m sorry Boss,” said Dave, “I’m so busy with all my friends. Sometimes it seems I know everyone there is to know, even famous people. My social calendar is full.”

“What do you mean?” asks the boss with derision. “How many people can you possibly know?”

“I’ll prove it. Name someone famous,” shrugged Dave, “I’ll bet I know him or her.”

Amused, his boss called his bluff, “Okay, Dave, how about the actress, Cate Blanchett? You know Cate?”

“Oh yeah boss, Cate and I are old friends, and I can prove it.” So, Dave and his boss fly to London and knock on Cate Blanchett’s front door, and through the curtains, Cate shouts, “Dave! What’s happening? Great to see you! Come on in for a drink!”

Though impressed, Dave’s boss is still sceptical. They leave Cate’s house after an hour and he tells Dave that he thinks knowing Cate was luck, nothing more.

“No, no, name anyone else,” Dave says.

“Emmanuel Macron,” his boss quickly retorts, knowing he couldn’t possibly know the French president.

“Yup,” Dave says, “We’re old mates. Let’s fly to Paris.”

At the French parliament Macron spots Dave and motions him and his boss over saying, “Bonjour Dave, ravi·e de te voir. I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in, let’s have a catch up.”

Well, the boss is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced. After they leave the parliament grounds he expresses his doubts to Dave, who again implores him to name someone else. Anyone!

“Pope Leo XIV,” his boss replies.

“Sure!” says Dave. “I’ve known the pope for years.” So, off they fly to Rome. Dave and his boss are assembled with tens of thousands of people at St Peter’s Square when Dave says, “This will never work. I can’t catch the pope’s eye amongst all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so I’ll pop up the backstairs and I’ll come out on the balcony with the pope and wave to you.”

He soon disappears into the crowd. Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the pope on the balcony, but by the time Dave returns, his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Making his way to his boss’s side, Dave asks him, “You okay? What happened?”

His boss, pale and drawn, looks up and says, “It was the final straw … you and the pope appeared on the balcony and the bloke next to me said, ‘Who is that on the balcony with Dave?'”

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