Jack and Mike go on a road trip, but after driving for an hour, the car breaks down. They get the engine going, but they’re seriously delayed and won’t make it to the hotel they had booked 40 kilometres away. Seeing a farmhouse just off the highway, they drive in and ask if they can park in the barn and stay in their car for the night to keep warm. The woman who owns the farm is unsure.

She says, “I am a widow, people will talk if you stay here overnight.”

The men assure her they’ll be gone before sunrise, and no one will ever know, so she agrees. About nine months later Jack rings Mike and asks, “Did you sneak off that night we stopped in a barn on our road trip, and go and see the widow?”

Mike hesitates, “Well, actually I did, yes. Why do you ask?”

“Did you give her my name and address Mike, instead of yours?”

There’s another pause. “Well, um, yes, I guess I did. Is there a problem?”

“Oh no, all good,” Jack says cheerily down the line, “She passed away and left everything to me.”

On a cold winter night; an elderly Irishman walks down the street using his prized glass flask of whiskey to keep warm. Just as he returns it to his back pocket he slips on the footpath and falls with a crunch. As he lay there assessing his injuries, he feels warm liquid running down his leg. He closes his eyes and says, “Please Lord, let it be blood.”

What do you call it when Eskimos hook up to stay warm? A “chilly” relationship! 

How do aliens stay warm? They use a space heater! 

What did the blanket say to the bed? “I’ve got you covered!” 

Why did the man put his money in the blender? Because he wanted to make some liquid assets to stay warm! 

How do you stay warm in any room? Just go to the corner; it’s always 90 degrees! 

Have a joke to share?  Send it to editor@majellan.org.au