A woman awoke excitedly on her birthday and announced enthusiastically to her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for my birthday! What do you think it means?”

With certainty in his voice, the man said, “You’ll know tonight.”

That evening the man came home with a small package and handed it to his wife.

With anxious anticipation, the woman quickly opened the package to find a book entitled, “The Meaning of Dreams.”

Six blokes were playing poker when George Smith loses $1000 on a single hand, clutches his chest and passes away at the table.

Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five complete their playing time standing up.

Sam looks around and asks, “Now, who is going to tell the wife?”

They draw straws. Mike, who is always a loser, picks the short one.

They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don’t make a bad situation any worse than it is.

Says Mike, “Gentlemen! Discreet? I’m the most discreet man you will ever meet. Discretion is my middle name. Leave it to me.”

Mike walks over to the Smith house, knocks on the door, the wife answers and asks what he wants.

Mike says, “Your husband just lost $1000 playing cards.”

She yells, “TELL HIM TO DROP DEAD!”

Mike replies sympathetically, “I’ll be sure to tell him.”

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