Jokes

A woman awoke excitedly on her birthday and announced enthusiastically to her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for my birthday! What do you think it means?”

With certainty in his voice, the man said, “You’ll know tonight.”

That evening the man came home with a small package and handed it to his wife.

With anxious anticipation, the woman quickly opened the package to find a book entitled, “The Meaning of Dreams.”

 

 

Three old friends — Mike, Tom, and Perry — meet every Friday night for their regular poker game. They’ve been playing for over 20 years, same house, same deck, same chips, same arguments.

This particular Friday, things were getting heated. Mike slammed his cards down and shouted, “That’s it, I’m telling you right now — Perry cheats. Every. Single. Week!”

Perry threw his hands up. “Cheats? Me? I’ve been sitting in this chair for 20 years, and you’re only NOW accusing me of cheating!”

Tom chimed in, trying to keep the peace. “Fellas, relax. We’re all friends here. Let’s just play fair. Nobody’s cheating. Let’s just enjoy the game.”

The game went on. Ten minutes later, Mike accused Perry again which he denied. Tom tried to mediate. This went on for hours until finally, Mike had had enough.

He stood up, grabbed his jacket, and said, “That’s it! I can’t play with a cheater anymore. I’m leaving!”

Perry, indignant, snapped back, “Fine! Go ahead! Take your lousy attitude with you!”

So Mike stormed out of the house and the room went quiet.

Perry looked at Tom and asked, “You think he’ll be back next week?”

Tom took a slow sip of his beer and said, “Of course … once he realises it’s his house.”

 

Have a joke to share?  Send it to editor@majellan.org.au  

 

Past Collections

Jokes 4/03

Jokes A crook stuck a gun in the man’s ribs and said: “Hand over your phone and your money.” The man replied: “You can’t do

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Jokes 23/02

Jokes Teacher: “Who do you want to be when you grow up?” Timmy: “I want to follow in my father’s footsteps and be a policeman.”

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Jokes 18/02

Jokes A physician, an engineer, and a politician were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions.The physician said, “Remember, on

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