Three men die: A Physicist, a Philosopher and a Local town idiot. They stand before the gates of heaven. Between them and the gates stands St Peter who tells the three men “Sorry boys, but it seems heaven is getting jam-packed. To let you in, you have to beat me intellectually, either through a form of a question or a challenge.”

The first to come forward is the Physicist, and he tells St Peter with great confidence “Show me the entire mathematical markup of the Higgs Boson.”

To which St Peter merely snaps his finger and produces a dozen large whiteboards and proceeds to write up the whole markup from memory. After careful examination, the Physicist reluctantly agrees that he is correct, and with one snap of the finger, St Peter sends him to the fiery gates of hell.
The next to come forward is the Philosopher. Thinking that the Physicist made a grave mistake of challenging St Peter with an empirical question, he decides to give a less-than-empirical challenge of his own. He tells St Peter “Show me all of the works of Socrates.” he says with a smirk, knowing Socrates never wrote down his teachings, St Peter would be hard pressed on producing an answer.

But despite this, St Peter produces a stack of papers, and the Philosopher reads it with great criticism. There are things there he had never even heard of, and questioned the paper’s authenticity, to which St Peter remarked “Me and Socrates have chatted a lot ever since he got here.” And with a snap of a finger, the Philosopher was gone.
Last to come forward is the Local town idiot who asks St Peter, “Could I give you a riddle instead?”

St Peter replies “Of course! I love riddles!”

The idiot proceeds. “What comes up a hill with six legs and comes down with four, comes back up with two legs and back down with no more?”

St Peter ponders it for a good five minutes and arrives at no answer, and tells the idiot, “Well, congratulations, you have left me dumbfounded.” With a snap of a finger, the gates of heaven open up. The idiot proceeds to enter heaven, but right before he does so, he feels St Peter tapping on his shoulder.

“So,” St Peter asks, “What’s the answer to your riddle?”
The Idiot shrugs his shoulders and says, “How the heck should I know?”

🤣 🤣

An investment counsellor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realised that she needed an in-house counsel. Excited at her runaway success, she began to interview young lawyers.

“As I’m sure you can understand,” she started off with one of the first applicants, “in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question.” She leaned forward. “Mr. Peterson, are you an honest lawyer?”

“Honest?” replied the job prospect. “Let me tell you something about honesty …” Why, I’m so honest that my father lent me $15,000 for my education, and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case.”

Bowled over by the apparent honour of the applicant she exclaimed: “Impressive. And what sort of case was that?”

The lawyer squirmed in his seat and admitted: “He sued me for the money.”

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