We can’t let Father’s Day go by without a dad joke … (and a bad one at that!)

Dad decides it’s time to give his teenage children, Tom and Lauren, “the perfect Saturday.”
He wakes them up early and says, “Get dressed, we’re going on an adventure!”

They are immediately suspicious. “Where are we going?” they ask collectively.

Dad grins. “You’ll see. It’ll be un-fore-gettable.”

They groan. They already know he means golf.

They stop for breakfast and at the café, the waitress asks if they want eggs.
Dad responds, “Eggs-cellent idea! I’ll have two poached eggs.”

When the coffee arrives, he takes a sip and says, “Ahh … bean there, done that.”

Tom and Lauren are begging to go home already but their father is not done yet!

“I have a joke for you. ‘God said to John, “Come forth, and receive eternal life. But John came fifth and won a toaster.’”

By this time Tom and Lauren are sinking under the table.

An hour later all three are on the golf course. On the first hole, he swings and misses completely.
Without hesitation or embarrassment, he says, “Don’t worry, that was just a practice swing. I’m getting a feel for the club.”

On the second hole, his ball lands in the water. He shrugs and says, “That shot went … swimmingly.”

Tom and Lauren wish they could disappear into the pond too.

After a tortuous 18 holes and on the way home, he insists they stop at the hardware store. He picks up a ladder and says, “Finally … something I can look up to.”

He then holds up a bucket. “Son, I’d carry this joke further, but I don’t want to pail in comparison.”

Tom and Lauren have now caught ‘selective hearing’.

Back at the house, Tom and Lauren collapse on the couch, completely drained by their day out with their father.

Tom finally says, “Dad, why the endless puns? Why the embarrassing jokes? Why can’t you just be normal like other fathers?”

Dad sits down, looks them both in the eye, and says with absolute seriousness. “One day you’ll understand. It’s not just what I do. It’s not just who I am.”

He leans in close to Tom and Lauren and says, “It’s a dad-end job.”

Have a joke to share?  Send it to editor@majellan.org.au