Jokes One day, after a long time in the Garden of Eden, Adam calls out, “Lord, I have a problem.” “What’s the problem, Adam?”, The Lord replies. “Lord, I know you created this place for me, with all this lovely food and all of the beautiful animals, but I am lonely.” “Well Adam, in that […]
Jokes A: I have the perfect son. B: Does he smoke? A: No, he doesn’t. B: Does he drink whiskey? A: No, he doesn’t. B: Does he ever come home late? A: No, he doesn’t. B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he? A: He will be six months
Jokes A bloke walks into the pub the morning after the AFL grand final, still wearing his team’s jumper. He looks like he’s aged ten years in a day. The bartender says, “Geez, mate, you look like you’ve been put through the ringer. What happened?” The bloke sighs: “What happened? We got absolutely belted.
Spring Magazine Jokes A grandmother was pushing her little grandchild around a shopping centre in a buggy. Each time she put something in the basket she would say, “And here’s something for you, Diploma.” or “This will make a cute little outfit for you, Diploma.” Eventually a bewildered shopper who had overheard the comments, finally
Jokes A new recruit is invited to his first Aussie Rules football training session. He struts onto the oval full of confidence. The coach says, “Welcome Jack. Show us what you’re made of. Can you find the chest of another player with the ball?” Jack smiles and says, “Coach, if I can pass a class
Jokes The other day I told my nine year-old and my twelve-year-old, “Being a dad is like being a magician.” They looked at me, confused. I said, “Think about it: I can make food disappear and I can make money vanish instantly.” The oldest asked, “Okay, but what about magic tricks?” I said, “Oh, I
Jokes We can’t let Father’s Day go by without a dad joke … (and a bad one at that!) Dad decides it’s time to give his teenage children, Tom and Lauren, “the perfect Saturday.”He wakes them up early and says, “Get dressed, we’re going on an adventure!” They are immediately suspicious. “Where are
Jokes It’s the first warm weekend of spring, and all the neighbours suddenly forget how to behave outdoors. The joggers come out like they’ve been training for the Olympics, couples can be heard arguing in the front yard, and some of the men are shirtless pretending to get up a sweat but are really swigging
Jokes A woman awoke excitedly on her birthday and announced enthusiastically to her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for my birthday! What do you think it means?” With certainty in his voice, the man said, “You’ll know tonight.” That evening the man came home with a small package and
Jokes A Navy Chief noticed a new seaman and barked at him, “Get over here! What’s your name sailor?”“John,” the new seaman replied.“Look, I don’t know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy rubbish they’re teaching sailors in boot camp nowadays, but I don’t call anyone by his first name,” the chief scowled. “It breeds familiarity, and
