Jokes It is All Saints Day on Sunday. To celebrate the occasion, here are some funnies about saints Three men meet Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates … St Peter demands that they recount their deeds in life! The first man steps up. “I was a doctor,” he says. “I could’ve gone into private […]
Jokes Families on Holidays!!!! Dad insisted we leave at 5am to beat the traffic. We did. Unfortunately, our luggage didn’t leave until Mum went back for it. Our family has two holiday budgets: the one we agree on before we leave, and the one we agree never to discuss when we get home.
Jokes Where’s Saint Francis when you need him? St Francis loved every creature on earth. Clearly, he’d never had a possum in his roof at three in the morning. St Peter asked a couple how they’d managed fifty years of marriage. “Patience, forgiveness and separate bathrooms.” “Ah,” said Peter. “Two virtues and
Jokes My wife said spring was the perfect time to get out into the garden. So I took my beer outside. Apparently, that wasn’t what she meant. I love sleeping with the windows open in October. Nothing beats fresh air, birdsong, and a mosquito whispering, “You awake?” Spring cleaning is going well. I’ve
Jokes Daylight saving starts in some states and territories on Sunday morning at 2am. The different time zones often create confusion, especially for people travelling by air. I booked a flight from Brisbane to Sydney on the day daylight saving started. The ticket said we’d leave at 8 and arrive at 11, even though
Jokes A tribute (sort of) to those who don’t play fair in competition … A bloke won the local fishing competition with the biggest fish anyone had ever seen. One of the judges looked closely and said, “Hang on … there’s a supermarket sticker underneath the fish and it’s frozen solid!” The bloke shrugged.
Jokes As we are deep into the football finals, let’s throw in a few jokes about sport … Patient: Please doctor, you’ve got to help me with these nightmares! Doctor: What type of dreams are you having? Patient: I always dream of these awful rodents playing football. Seeing them crawl, tackle, squeal night after
Jokes Pope Leo XIV has asked people to take shorter showers to help sustain the environment. Here are some jokes about taking a shower. A bloke bought an elaborate new “smart shower” that could remember his preferred temperature, play music and respond to voice commands. The first morning, he stepped in and said, “Warm
Jokes As it is Father’s Day on Sunday a few dad jokes wouldn’t be out of place. A father was assembling a new wardrobe while his son watched. After three long hours, the floor was covered in screws, two shelves were backward, and the doors wouldn’t close. His son picked up the instruction manual
Jokes A long-distance walker bought a weather app for his new smartphone. As he was going for a walk, he checked the app before leaving home. It forecast a Sunny 24 degrees with some light cloud about. So, he grabbed his sunnies, a water bottle and headed out. By lunchtime, he’d been sunburnt, hailed on
