Jokes A Navy Chief noticed a new seaman and barked at him, “Get over here! What’s your name sailor?”“John,” the new seaman replied.“Look, I don’t know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy rubbish they’re teaching sailors in boot camp nowadays, but I don’t call anyone by his first name,” the chief scowled. “It breeds familiarity, and […]
Jokes Dave obtained a copy of an exam that his girlfriend Mabel had completed. One examiner gave her zero but another examiner gave Mabel a score of 100. Decide for yourself what Mabel deserved. Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die? “His Last Battle.” Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
Jokes Some silly one liners to celebrate International Day of Friendship … A friend of mine did his pilot’s exam just after a storm, and flew through a rainbow. He passed with flying colours. My friend got taken to hospital because he’s convinced that he’s turned into a vacuum cleaner. Just phoned to
Jokes A contractor dies in a car accident on his 40th birthday and finds himself at the Pearly Gates. A brass band is playing, the angels are singing a beautiful hymn, there is a huge crowd cheering and shouting his name, and absolutely everyone wants to shake his hand. Just when he thinks things can’t
Jokes A highway police officer was sitting in his car, radar in his hand, when a car crawled past doing exactly 25 kilometres per hour in a 100 km zone. He blinked in astonishment. “Now that’s just as dangerous as speeding,” he muttered. He pulled the car over and walked up to the driver’s side
Jokes A man asked his wife one morning why she kept staring out of their loungeroom window. Taking a deep breath, she replied, “I’m really fed up with the state of Mrs Brown’s blinds. Mrs Perkins’ are not much better. And that Mrs Lewis – honestly! Look at her blinds. They are filthy. They’re
Jokes A famous professor of surgery died and went to heaven. At the pearly gates he was asked by the gatekeeper, “Have you ever committed a sin you truly regret?” “Yes,” the professor answered sadly. “When I was a young candidate at Saint John’s Hospital, we played soccer against a team from the local community
Jokes A wealthy man died and went to heaven. He was met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter, who welcomed him warmly and told him he will be taken to his ‘forever’ heavenly dwelling. He then led him down the streets of gold. They passed castle after fantastic castle, then huge mansion after mansion,
Jokes A stocky teenage boy is sitting on a park bench eating chocolate bars. A guy in his mid-30’s walks past and then stops. He turns around and says, “You shouldn’t eat so much chocolate. You know it’s bad for your health, and it looks like you could already lose a few kilos.” The boy
Jokes To commemorate World Blood Donor Day … A woman walks into a hospital wheeling her husband who’s in a wheelbarrow. She stops at the front desk and says to the nurse, “Something is wrong with my husband. He was very difficult to wake up this morning, he barely touched his breakfast, and he hasn’t