Jokes Dave has been a good and reliable worker for the same company for twenty-five years. One problem: he keeps missing company events. Eventually, his boss calls him to his office demanding an explanation. Why can’t Dave be a team player? “I’m sorry Boss,” said Dave, “I’m so busy with all my friends. Sometimes it […]
Jokes A man walks into a bar and sits down. He says to the bartender, “I’d like a bar of chocolate.” The bartender replies, “Sure, the vending machine is over there.” So, the man walks over to the machine and as he is about to buy some chocolate, the machine suddenly says, “You sugar-loving idiot!”
Jokes Aliens abduct three people: a politician, an athlete, and a postal worker. They bring the abductees aboard their spaceship, put each one in a small empty room, completely sealed, and give each one of them two small balls made of solid titanium. “You have twenty-four hours,” the aliens tell the trio. “After that, whoever
Jokes A man is stopped by the police for speeding. The police officer says to the driver, “Do you know that you were speeding, sir?” “No officer, I didn’t know I was speeding.” His wife who is in the front seat then says, “Come on, Henry, you knew you were speeding, I’ve been telling
Jokes To all the mums, Happy Mother’s Day! Why was the house so neat on Mother’s Day? Because Mum spent all day Saturday cleaning it. When you finally have time for a girls’ night and realise your entire wardrobe went out of style in 2005. I asked to switch seats on a
Jokes Three men die: A Physicist, a Philosopher and a Local town idiot. They stand before the gates of heaven. Between them and the gates stands St Peter who tells the three men “Sorry boys, but it seems heaven is getting jam-packed. To let you in, you have to beat me intellectually, either through a
Jokes As soon as she had finished high school, Mary from Dublin shook the Irish dust off her shoes and made her way to London’s West End where she lived her dream and became a successful show business performer. Several years later she returned to her hometown for a holiday. While back in the country
Jokes A woman and her husband were at a group Reconciliation service for Easter at their local parish. Because they were so frail, they went into the confessional together. The woman tearfully admitted to the priest that she had shoplifted a can of peaches because she was hungry, and she had forgotten to bring cash
Jokes An Irish bloke sitting at a bar in New York turns to the gentleman next to him. “Hey there friend! Where do ya hail from?” “I’m from Ireland.” “No kidding! I’m from Ireland myself! What part of Ireland?” “Grew up in Wexford.” “Wexford?! No kidding! I grew up in Wexford myself!” “Well, what are
Jokes Three women die and go to heaven. When they arrive, St Peter says: “We only have one rule here in heaven: do not step on the ducks!” So, they enter heaven, and there are ducks everywhere. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to