Jokes It’s April Fool’s Day so let’s celebrate … Did you hear about the goats that got in trouble for playing pranks on April Fools’? It turned out to be a couple of kids. Two guys walk into a bar on April Fools’ Day. The third one ducked. I told a chemistry […]
Jokes What did one plate say to the other plate?“Dinner’s on me.” What do you call a lazy kangaroo?A pouch potato. Why did the student eat his homework?Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake. Why did the car get a flat tyre? Because there was a fork in
Jokes I told my mum I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. She said, “Well, you can’t put it down, can you?” My family is so traditional. We still believe in the ancient art of “knock before entering.” I asked my brother if he could help me with maths. He said, “I can’t count
Jokes I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y. Want to hear a joke about construction? … I’m still working on it. I used to hate facial hair—but then it grew on me. Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, they won’t fit me. I ordered a
Jokes A crook stuck a gun in the man’s ribs and said: “Hand over your phone and your money.” The man replied: “You can’t do this. I’m a Senator in Canberra.” The crook replied: “In that case, give me my money.” Teacher: “Which book has helped you the most in your life?” Student: “My
Jokes Teacher: “Who do you want to be when you grow up?” Timmy: “I want to follow in my father’s footsteps and be a policeman.” Teacher: “I didn’t know your father was a policeman.” Timmy: “He isn’t. He’s a burglar.” And some one liners … Why did the robber take a bath? Because he
Jokes A physician, an engineer, and a politician were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions.The physician said, “Remember, on the sixth day God took a rib from Adam and fashioned Eve, making him the first surgeon. Therefore, medicine is the oldest profession.”The engineer replied, “But, before that, God created
Jokes On Ash Wednesday, Father O’Malley stood at the front of the church, pressing ashes onto foreheads and saying, “Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.” Such was the crowd; he’d been doing it for more than thirty minutes. His voice was tiring, his thumb was black as a chimney
Jokes A teacher asked her students to use the word “beans” in a sentence. “My father grows beans,” said one girl. “My mother cooks beans,” said a boy. A third student spoke up, “We are all human beans.” How come oysters never donate to charity? Because they are shellfish. A boy is selling
Jokes A Texan rancher travels to Australia for a holiday. There he meets an Aussie farmer. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, “Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large.” Then they walk around the station, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle.
