Jokes The doctor says to his patient. “I can’t determine the cause of your illness with certainty, but it would be best if you cut your alcohol consumption and we’ll see if it improves.” The old woman replies, “Can’t I just increase it and we’ll see if it gets worse?” The Father, the […]
Jokes After being married for 25 years, a woman asked her husband to describe her.He looked at her carefully, then said with a smile, “You are A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K.” “What does that mean?” she asked suspiciously. He said, “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous and Hot!”
Jokes A farmer and his wife went to a local fair. The farmer was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost. “Two hundred dollars for three minutes,” replied the pilot. “That’s too much,” said the farmer. The pilot thought for a second and then said,
Jokes A man was called into his bank to discuss his accounts. “Your finances are in terrible shape,” the banker stated. “For a start your home loan is overdue.” “Yes, I know.” said the man. “It’s my wife, she is out of control.” “Why do you allow your wife to spend more money than you
Jokes One day, after a long time in the Garden of Eden, Adam calls out, “Lord, I have a problem.” “What’s the problem, Adam?”, The Lord replies. “Lord, I know you created this place for me, with all this lovely food and all of the beautiful animals, but I am lonely.” “Well Adam, in that
Jokes A: I have the perfect son. B: Does he smoke? A: No, he doesn’t. B: Does he drink whiskey? A: No, he doesn’t. B: Does he ever come home late? A: No, he doesn’t. B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he? A: He will be six months
Jokes A bloke walks into the pub the morning after the AFL grand final, still wearing his team’s jumper. He looks like he’s aged ten years in a day. The bartender says, “Geez, mate, you look like you’ve been put through the ringer. What happened?” The bloke sighs: “What happened? We got absolutely belted.
Spring Magazine Jokes A grandmother was pushing her little grandchild around a shopping centre in a buggy. Each time she put something in the basket she would say, “And here’s something for you, Diploma.” or “This will make a cute little outfit for you, Diploma.” Eventually a bewildered shopper who had overheard the comments, finally
Jokes A new recruit is invited to his first Aussie Rules football training session. He struts onto the oval full of confidence. The coach says, “Welcome Jack. Show us what you’re made of. Can you find the chest of another player with the ball?” Jack smiles and says, “Coach, if I can pass a class
Jokes The other day I told my nine year-old and my twelve-year-old, “Being a dad is like being a magician.” They looked at me, confused. I said, “Think about it: I can make food disappear and I can make money vanish instantly.” The oldest asked, “Okay, but what about magic tricks?” I said, “Oh, I