Jokes A man asked his wife one morning why she kept staring out of their loungeroom window. Taking a deep breath, she replied, “I’m really fed up with the state of Mrs Brown’s blinds. Mrs Perkins’ are not much better. And that Mrs Lewis – honestly! Look at her blinds. They are filthy. They’re […]
Jokes A famous professor of surgery died and went to heaven. At the pearly gates he was asked by the gatekeeper, “Have you ever committed a sin you truly regret?” “Yes,” the professor answered sadly. “When I was a young candidate at Saint John’s Hospital, we played soccer against a team from the local community
Jokes A wealthy man died and went to heaven. He was met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter, who welcomed him warmly and told him he will be taken to his ‘forever’ heavenly dwelling. He then led him down the streets of gold. They passed castle after fantastic castle, then huge mansion after mansion,
Jokes A stocky teenage boy is sitting on a park bench eating chocolate bars. A guy in his mid-30’s walks past and then stops. He turns around and says, “You shouldn’t eat so much chocolate. You know it’s bad for your health, and it looks like you could already lose a few kilos.” The boy
Jokes To commemorate World Blood Donor Day … A woman walks into a hospital wheeling her husband who’s in a wheelbarrow. She stops at the front desk and says to the nurse, “Something is wrong with my husband. He was very difficult to wake up this morning, he barely touched his breakfast, and he hasn’t
Jokes Dave has been a good and reliable worker for the same company for twenty-five years. One problem: he keeps missing company events. Eventually, his boss calls him to his office demanding an explanation. Why can’t Dave be a team player? “I’m sorry Boss,” said Dave, “I’m so busy with all my friends. Sometimes it
Jokes A man walks into a bar and sits down. He says to the bartender, “I’d like a bar of chocolate.” The bartender replies, “Sure, the vending machine is over there.” So, the man walks over to the machine and as he is about to buy some chocolate, the machine suddenly says, “You sugar-loving idiot!”
Jokes Aliens abduct three people: a politician, an athlete, and a postal worker. They bring the abductees aboard their spaceship, put each one in a small empty room, completely sealed, and give each one of them two small balls made of solid titanium. “You have twenty-four hours,” the aliens tell the trio. “After that, whoever
Jokes A man is stopped by the police for speeding. The police officer says to the driver, “Do you know that you were speeding, sir?” “No officer, I didn’t know I was speeding.” His wife who is in the front seat then says, “Come on, Henry, you knew you were speeding, I’ve been telling
Jokes To all the mums, Happy Mother’s Day! Why was the house so neat on Mother’s Day? Because Mum spent all day Saturday cleaning it. When you finally have time for a girls’ night and realise your entire wardrobe went out of style in 2005. I asked to switch seats on a